i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So apparently I’m into choking now
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