last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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