she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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