Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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