I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
