Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
