bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
