I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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