Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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