We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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