my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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