Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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