I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
