if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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