thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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