youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Use "feeling words"
Yay
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
