dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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