3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
