i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
