She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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