well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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