youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
