I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
