You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
