five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
