i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
