you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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