Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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