You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
