I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
