Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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