return my video game
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
