Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
