You really coming over, don't trick.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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