oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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