I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
