when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
