dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
