Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
