she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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