i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
