Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
