im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was like eating out sand paper
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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