I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
