You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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