Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
