And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
