Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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