It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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