Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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