Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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